D-Day

  I am beyond excited! May 27th is the day we will meet our sweet little Hudson Taylor! The c-section is scheduled and I feel like it's just around the corner. I have so much left to do to get ready for his arrival. If it would stop snowing and being ridiculously cold, Cory could finally take my maternity photos!
  I'm in the home-stretch and I'm finally able to get excited about what's happening to our family. We've had so much chaos and stress the last few months, it's seemed impossible to focus on the most important things. Now I'm ready to enjoy warmer weather and look forward to the awesomeness that is becoming a mother of two, and seeing Mia become a big sister! (She's ridiculously excited by the way... she talks about Hudson every day -reassures herself that he's still growing and can't come out right this minute). Wonderfully exciting time... we have a date to look forward to! I love him so much already!

  Hudson looks perfect! So exciting to see him on the ultrasound again. His little heart was so clear this time. After a chaotic appointment consisting of 2 ultrasounds of the baby and being sent elsewhere for an emergency ultrasound of my legs to check for blood clots (admittedly terrified), I'm happy to say that everything looks perfectly fine and healthy, and I couldn't be more thankful for that. We have a lot of things on our plate right now, but I'm trying to see the positive in everything and just look forward to the nice weather coming and the ability to get out and about. Just trying to be thankful for all that I have, and not stress out too much! I don't know what more there is to be thankful for than a healthy little family!

   I'm convinced this pregnancy is telling me, "No more babies". Forgive me, but I've never been one of those "Pregnancy is the most magical experience in life" type of gals. I realize that creation is a miracle, and I am constantly in awe of that, but that doesn't necessarily mean I enjoy it. Ha.
 
  Lately I've become obsessed with researching for baby gear. I've decided to make one large purchase per month so that we arent faced with a heaping amount of baby stuff to be bought at the last minute. It's easier on the checking account that way, too. My purchase this month: a diaper bag. I know I don't need one yet, but when you drool over Petunia Pickle Bottom's website every day, June is just much too far away. With Mia, I had very cheap diaper bags...which was perfectly fine - they did the job and looked relatively cute. I decided that my selfish splurge this go 'round would be a diaper bag, since it's something I carry every day, and it may be my last time with a newborn so I wanted to go out in style. It's silly that a bag could make you feel prettier, but let's face it - I'll take anything to make me feel prettier soon after having a child! So...diaper bag purchase: accomplished. Trust me, these bags are so cute I have a feeling I'll be carrying one long after I even need a diaper bag.

  Off I go to the doctor today, to hopefully get a good picture of little Hudson's heart. Praying that everything looks healthy, and that he holds still enough to even get the picture!

Wow, I took an extremely long break from blogging!

Not going to lie...I've been keeping to myself a lot lately. Not too sure why - could be the pregnancy hormones, or the weather getting me down...but I've been little miss antisocial for the past month.

This is what I've been trying to focus on:

Yep, that's our little boy, still growing in my belly.

It's still surreal that I'm even pregnant, let alone having a boy.

We had no preference whatsoever on the sex of the baby, just wanted everything to look positive and healthy since having the miscarriage earlier this year.

We are so thankful that everything looks perfect!

I have to get another ultrasound at my next appt to get a clearer picture of the heart, which they couldn't get last time because the little stinker was moving around so much.

But, I'm excited to see him again :)

I'm in a serious "change the house" rut.

 I LOVE our house.

I have gone from seeing our house as a "starter home" to it potentially being

 the home we live in for many, many years.

But...everyone needs a little change every now and then. Cory calls it "early nesting".

For those of your who know me...I'm a painter. Re-painting rooms is just what I do.

Maybe it's because we aren't painting the nursery (since painting it last year knowing it would be a nursery soon enough)...I feel the need to paint something else. Probably the living room/family room/dining/kitchen.

As long as I can convince Cory to do so.

So...maybe it will have to wait :)

Did I mention the weather has me bummed?

 I have a vision of a summer evening, Cory manning the grill, Mia on the swingset, me holding baby Hudson..

Ahh.. life is going to change, but it's going to be amazing!

Thankful!

  I have quite a lot to be thankful for this holiday season. I am so very thankful for my husband and everything he does for us so that we can be together so often! I take for granted the amount of time we are able to spend together as a family. I am extremely thankful to have such a sweet little girl, whose "issues" go no further than an occasional, typical, 2-year-old attitude. She is my world. I could just sit and watch her every minute of every day. Last, but not least, I am thankful to have a healthy little baby growing inside me. We got the test results back from Cory's cystic fibrosis test... he is NOT a carrier! What a relief. To add to the joy, I got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time on Wednesday. Again, thankful, thankful, thankful.

Too much for myself alone

  Last week, I feel as though my nerves hit a breaking point. Often, I feel like I carry way too much weight on my shoulders. I find myself to be an extremely stressed-out person. I wish I could be as laid-back and easygoing as those few unnamed people close to me, but that's just not me.
  Last Friday, I got a call from a nurse at Good Sam, informing me that I tested positive as a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis. I knew very little about this or the test - so of course the nurse (not so friendly, mind you) proceeded to tell me that if my child is born with the disease, he/she may die young or never live a normal life. Way to scare the pants off of me! I don't know if any of you moms reading this have ever had the test results explained to you (They were never explained to me until this day), but basically if you're a carrier, your husband has to get tested. If your husband is not a carrier, there is no chance that your child will be born with cystic fibrosis. If he is a carrier, your child has a 25% chance of being born with the disease.
  After getting off the phone and calling my husband to inform him that he needed to go straight to the hospital to get tested, I was finally able to process everything. Why hadn't I been tested with Mia? What if Cory's positive, and Mia was just fortunately born without the disease? I know that asking myself these questions over and over aren't going to do anything but kill me slowly over the next 5 days that we wait for test results to come back.
  At the end of a long day crying, worrying, and being angry, I did something that I don't do enough. I prayed. I didn't pray that the test results would come back negative - I prayed for the strength to handle what was to come next. And miraculously, a weight was immediately lifted from me. I have one beautiful, healthy, smart, amazing child...who's to say I won't have another? I cannot let "possibilities" rob me of the joy I have for the new life I'm carrying. No matter what happens, I know I am surrounded by love and will make it through any circumstance.
   If any of you moms reading this have ever found out you are a carrier, I'd love to hear about it!

Attention!

I have a very exciting announcement to make:

We are expecting another baby! 

It's been tough keeping it a secret for the last few weeks, but I am now happy to share the news.

   To be perfectly honest, the last few weeks have been difficult - between the sickness and the cloud of miscarriage hanging over our heads, we've been down during a what should be a very, very happy time. However, with prayer and the support of loved ones, our fear and anxiety is quickly turning into joy and excitement. We feel so blessed!