Thankful!

  I have quite a lot to be thankful for this holiday season. I am so very thankful for my husband and everything he does for us so that we can be together so often! I take for granted the amount of time we are able to spend together as a family. I am extremely thankful to have such a sweet little girl, whose "issues" go no further than an occasional, typical, 2-year-old attitude. She is my world. I could just sit and watch her every minute of every day. Last, but not least, I am thankful to have a healthy little baby growing inside me. We got the test results back from Cory's cystic fibrosis test... he is NOT a carrier! What a relief. To add to the joy, I got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time on Wednesday. Again, thankful, thankful, thankful.

Too much for myself alone

  Last week, I feel as though my nerves hit a breaking point. Often, I feel like I carry way too much weight on my shoulders. I find myself to be an extremely stressed-out person. I wish I could be as laid-back and easygoing as those few unnamed people close to me, but that's just not me.
  Last Friday, I got a call from a nurse at Good Sam, informing me that I tested positive as a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis. I knew very little about this or the test - so of course the nurse (not so friendly, mind you) proceeded to tell me that if my child is born with the disease, he/she may die young or never live a normal life. Way to scare the pants off of me! I don't know if any of you moms reading this have ever had the test results explained to you (They were never explained to me until this day), but basically if you're a carrier, your husband has to get tested. If your husband is not a carrier, there is no chance that your child will be born with cystic fibrosis. If he is a carrier, your child has a 25% chance of being born with the disease.
  After getting off the phone and calling my husband to inform him that he needed to go straight to the hospital to get tested, I was finally able to process everything. Why hadn't I been tested with Mia? What if Cory's positive, and Mia was just fortunately born without the disease? I know that asking myself these questions over and over aren't going to do anything but kill me slowly over the next 5 days that we wait for test results to come back.
  At the end of a long day crying, worrying, and being angry, I did something that I don't do enough. I prayed. I didn't pray that the test results would come back negative - I prayed for the strength to handle what was to come next. And miraculously, a weight was immediately lifted from me. I have one beautiful, healthy, smart, amazing child...who's to say I won't have another? I cannot let "possibilities" rob me of the joy I have for the new life I'm carrying. No matter what happens, I know I am surrounded by love and will make it through any circumstance.
   If any of you moms reading this have ever found out you are a carrier, I'd love to hear about it!